We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
