just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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