I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
