I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
