Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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