I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
