playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
