More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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