Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
