brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am available for nakedness
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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