Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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