I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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