the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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