bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
