went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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