How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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