if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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