I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize