Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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