I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
