wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
