There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
