I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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