Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
