I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
