can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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