i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
