oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
