I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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