I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My vagina is officially offended.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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