Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
