So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
