I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize