is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
