why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize