there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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