Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Help. Why am I so naked?
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