Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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