you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
