just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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