How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
