it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
