You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
