Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
