Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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