They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
