Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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