cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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