the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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