Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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