Apparently you make a good broom.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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