part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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