There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
