For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
