how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
