1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
