dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
