Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm passing your future prison.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
