I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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