There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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