You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
