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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
