My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
