He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I will die if light touches me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
