did you get engaged???
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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