I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
