Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
