My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
