I hope mine doesn't look like that
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
