the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
