she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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