One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize