Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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