He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
