So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
