Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize