The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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